ONCE!


What, what can I do to be myself, deep here
With long loathing, summoned sweating at night
Legless to the antechambers of my mad sea self, where
The numbed penumbras in the brain smash in the half-light?

For one glorious and marbled moment only, just
Once I not be what I am and be myself;
Beseige, invade and conquer, do what I must
In this cowled underworld of Ghibelline and Guelf

To wrest and muster even one numbed and lonely
Conscript from the rabble which I am and occupy
Some uncharred outpost of my soul and an alien only
Triumph from me rip that I be once whole before I die.

God, tear me out of myself, rend me from my pain,
Disembody me, and let me live again.